Mistaken

Had I mistaken frustration for love?
Was it the hard-to-get attitude that intrigued me...?
The self-punishment?
The pain?
The meaningless of life?

Who knows...

All I know is that it hurts and... that maybe I should've known better. I definately should have known better.

Break the pattern they say... But how can I break it when it evolves around me?

Christmas, New Year... a time to ruminate... a time to look back at the year that has just passed and to be able to say "it was a good year". And in many many ways it was. It was a good year.
And making mistakes is part of life, they spice it up, they are opportunities to learn (often faster than we had expected).

What would I want to change...? Being somewhat less "good", so that people take less advantage of me...? But won't I be throwing away the baby with the bathwater? I hate that expression, but it says it so well.
Being naive is what makes me who I am. Changing that would be changing my inner person. The person I'm only starting to like... She can be a lot of fun, only she doesn't realise it herself most of the time...

I'm guessing I'm just way too romantic for this world. Maybe that's the reason why I refuse to watch the news. Keeping the eyes shut is just so much easier. Let me be... Let me be in my cotton wall...

Sandra asked me today, "why do we keep looking for that something more"? Why can't we accept and come to rest..., at ease... Stop running and looking and searching for something we can never have... Because hope is for the living...? Naaaaah. Hope is for the idiots, the imbicils, for those who refuse to see facts as they are. The blind and the helpless. "Wat baten kaars en bril als de uil niet zienen wil?"

Sur cette fine pensée, je vous laisse...